Jerry Tawnsworth, a 51-year-old truck driver of Estacada, was caught playing Keno in a Gresham bar for the sole purpose to make money. On Wednesday, Tawnsworth was sitting in the Crispy Critter Tavern drinking beer and playing Keno. He made the mistake of telling another patron he wasn’t playing “for entertainment only.”
“Hell, I was done shocked to hear em say he was tryin’ to win from that there machine,” said Dub Izzy, a regular and a self proclaimed expert in badger tendencies. “Everone knows you play just fer fun. Hell, I never expect my nummers to never win neither.”
Izzy quickly notified Doddy Coleman-Kylher, the manager, bartender and cook of The Crispy Critter. Doddy was not pleased to see Tawnsworth trying to turn $5 into $10 or more, thus playing for investment purposes.
“The Oregon Lottery makes it real, real clear they don’t want you to play that way,” stated Doddy while brushing away her stringy hair. “It’s fer entertainment ONLY! Mr. Tawnsworth is not welcome back no how.”
Jerry Tawnsworth said he won’t fight the manager’s decision to 86 him. However, he hopes he can still purchase meth in the parking lot.